I realised it was Monday as soon as I woke up and literally said fuck you before I got out of bed. There was no denying it; it was going to be a fuck you Monday. I am currently going through a skin cancer treatment on my face. It is a 21-day process whereby the cream brings out all the sun-damaged cells on whichever area you are treating, kills them and they go away leaving your skin like normal. Well, fuck you Efudix skin cancer treatment. I did not sleep last night as my face was on fire. I feel like a crack addict who wants to scratch their skin off with their fingernails. (I am not actually sure what it feels like to be a crack addict but I have an active imagination and I literally do want to rip my skin off). The first 14 days I was a bit cocky and thought I was going to be fine. Well, fuck you false sense of security. Now my skin is bubbling away under the surface, there are parts of my face that are blistering and cracking and I have sores on either side of my nose that are painful to touch. I have two more days of putting this god damned ointment on and my skin is almost too painful to touch. Apparently the diseased bits are meant to just drop off (I do hope they don’t drop off at random whilst doing a grocery shop or paying for my petrol) and my face is going to return to normal. But right now I feel like Gollum and I feel like I am going to stay this way forever.
Fuck you Gollum.
Fuck you Skin Cancer.
Fuck you pale Anglo Saxon & Irish skin with lots of freckles.
I started the day with a headache, I suspect because my face is falling off and ended the day with a headache.
Fuck you headaches.
The kids are on school holidays and they decided that the best place for them to play all day was in the cupboard directly behind my desk. I made a deal with myself that as long as they did not ask to watch Netflix or a movie that I would allow them to play and I would exercise patience. After all, they were entertaining themselves. I told myself it would be practice for travelling and I could pretend I was doing work in a cafe in some foreign city, in an airport waiting to catch a plane or on a greyhound bus as we crossed America on a budget. They did not ask to watch a movie for 6 hours. Fuck you making deals with yourself Lara and fuck you practising make believe games when your face is falling off.
We had an appointment this afternoon to see my doctor to go over the report as to what Vaccinations we need for our travels. The list is extensive. Well fuck you malaria and fuck you rabies and fuck you Hepatitis A and fuck whatever else we could drop dead of in the countries I have chosen to travel to. I dropped the prescriptions off to the chemist who estimated that the total bill was going to be about $1,000. Well fuck you vaccinations.
It was just one of those fucking days. I gently reminded myself of the reason why I booked my tickets with no planning. Because I have no choice but to make the whole thing happen. I think because my face was on fire it was just all very overwhelming for a moment or two.
Archie and Rissie were enthusing about the Manu cook book in the chemist. I don’t usually watch My Kitchen Rules during the week as I got over the manufactured bitchy personalities, but the kids are obsessed with it and watch the catch-up episodes on a Sunday whilst I watch with them whilst lying horizontally on the couch with my eyes closed. So after the chemist, we came home and I made the kids Nice Cream Sundaes and we all watched the My Kitchen Rules episode from last night.
It is a Monday night of the school holidays and I thought fuck you routine. My face was sore, I was reeling from the costs of the vaccinations (nothing like more unaccounted for costs) and I simply thought fuck you. It was what one might affectionately call a Fuck you Monday.
My lovely friend Cathie sent me a box of super foods last year for my birthday. It was such an unexpected treat and just goes to show how lucky I am in the friends that I have. Some of the products I got through in no time, some others I have had sitting by my desk literally for months waiting for me to do something with them. I looked up Maca Powder on the internet recently and it is used in smoothies and nice-creams all the time so I was inspired to make this yummy Sundae with Cathie in mind. I was going to name it after her but I am sure she would have told me I was being a dick. So I just thought how fabulous she was as I ate this amazing creation. It eased the pain of my fuck you Monday. In fact, it was so good that a proper dinner got a fuck you and had two portions of Sundae instead.
Mango & Raspberry Maca Sundae with Passionfruit
4 frozen bananas – sliced
1 cup frozen Mangos – sliced
1 cup frozen Raspberries
8 teaspoons Maca Powder
2 Passionfruit – halved
For the Mango Nice Cream add two of the bananas, the mango and 4 teaspoons of Maca Powder to the kitchen whizz. Blitz constantly until the mixture goes from bread-crumb phase to nice cream phase. Stop regularly to wipe the sides of the whizz. Continue blitzing until creamy.
For the Raspberry Nice Cream add two of the bananas, the raspberry and 4 teaspoons of Maca Powder to the kitchen whizz. Blitz constantly until the mixture goes from bread-crumb phase to nice cream phase. Stop regularly to wipe the sides of the whizz. Continue blitzing until creamy.
Layer your sundae with Raspberry first, then Mango and top each sundae with half of a passionfruit.
Pure bliss with not a fuck you in sight.