I have discovered two things over the last few weeks. Firstly, that I love porridge and secondly that I love living in a bubble.
When it comes to porridge, I have never had the desire to eat it. I am not sure if it is childhood memories or reading too much English literature, but when I thought of porridge, I always imagined a bowl of stodge that was as unappetising as glue. For some reason, it also made me think of poverty and hardship. Recently my good friend Julie-chan convinced me to try porridge to shake up my daily breakfast routine which was boring me to tears. I am a convert. It is delicious, you can add anything to it you want. It is quick and easy and super healthy for you. I discovered porridge sachets that you put in the microwave. They may well have been around for donkey’s years, but as I have avoided the porridge section for as long as I can remember discovering them was a little bit like waking up on Christmas morning.
I have mine with almond milk and then whatever I have in the cupboards. This little beauty included some frozen berries, dried cranberries and a ladyfinger banana. Also, some yellow flowers, as I like to remind myself that spring is on its way. Finally, the longest winter will be over. I have been living in winter since our return to the States last December, so the thought of shaving my legs is quite exciting. I don’t get out much.
The second thing I discovered about myself is that I love living in a bubble. I have always known that I was guilty of living in a bubble. But I like it, and I am ready to own it. I love my fucking bubble and that is the way it is going to stay. I am guilty of being painfully ignorant. The kids and I do not watch the news, nor do I read newspapers. I have had friends who made me feel a little bashful of that fact, but no I no longer give a rat’s arse. I like my bubble. I am staying in my bubble.
Occasionally I will venture out into the big wide world, like recently when I became fascinated by the American Presidential election. It was hard not to know it was going on around you when you are in the States or even Costa Rica. As I have never really been interested in Australian politics, it was an interesting experience for me. I can honestly say now, that I have no idea what I am talking about and I don’t know enough to comment. I was wrong on all counts. Firstly, that Trump would not get elected. Secondly that he would not last. Thirdly, that he would not be allowed to change anything drastically. I was wrong, wrong, wrong.
Lately I have heard people on the left and people on the right. Trump tends to bring out the worst in people and there seems to be no middle ground. If you suggest to people on the left, that perhaps Trump would never have seen the light of day if he was going up against anyone but Clinton you are looked at like you are an idiot. If you suggest to those on the right, that Trump puts the fear of evil into your soul, you are looked like you are an idiot. Either way, whatever I say, I am an idiot. Back to my bubble.
My gut feel tells me Trump is bad news but I do not understand enough about politics to argue persuasively or to answer heated arguments for and against the woes of the world. What amazes me also is that Trump has heralded a new era in the world where people can dismiss what you are saying because a) it is fake news, or b) coming from a media that has been ferociously controlled by the left for decades. It seems whatever you say, someone has a response that your sources are fake and not to be trusted. If you mention something along the lines of humanity, then you are laughed at even more. Back to my bubble.
I had a particularly miserable day on Sunday. I woke up in Brisbane crying and I could not stop. It was a bit of a shock to me as I have been good for at least a month or so, and to wake up bereft was like being hit by a bucket of cold sick. I am a master at prematurely rejoicing. I thought I had this, but it was a very sobering reminder that grief is a long and unpredictable journey. All I wanted to do was go home. The last thing I wanted to do was upset anyone so the kids and I hit the road. As I commenced crying for four hours, the kids and I discovered frozen cokes at McDonalds. It was the sort of day that called for treats. Luckily, they were only $1.00 and we stopped at two different McDonalds to make the long journey easier. The kids were delighted with this unexpected turn of events.
When I got home, because I was miserable, I decided to sit down and read some articles that someone had recommended that I read. This was to help me understand world politics in a more educated way. The journalist was on the right side of things and highly recommended. After two hours of reading more than two years’ worth of articles, I stood up feeling slightly grubby. Almost as if I had been reading soft porn for two hours. I did not think the articles were particularly well-written and they were so far to the right of the world, that the guy could not even recognise left or the middle ground. He also said things that as a woman and a mother scared me. I decided then and there that I was out. I was done. I have no idea what is going on in the world, I do not have the education or the intelligence to understand it. Nor do I think I want to. Back to my fucking bubble.
That afternoon as the sun was setting the kids were out in the backyard. Kevin was fascinated by a sheep that stared at him through the fence. Rissie and Archie both took turns sitting with him as he sat trembling with exhilarated anticipation though he had no idea what to do next. The sun was setting and it felt like spring was on its way. I remembered the golden haze of summer. My children and dogs and one brave sheep were lost in a golden haze. My backyard was a truly beautiful place to be.
Maybe, my bubble is not a bad place to be if it is made up of my backyard and the world that surrounds me. Everyday I get up to look for something that fills me with beauty – it is hard to believe that the world is not filled with potential when you go looking for something beautiful. Maybe if we all just focussed on our own backyards and made them the best places they could be then possibly the world would be a different place.
I honestly don’t know. I am too busy being in my bubble, eating lots of porridge.