Archie gave me a drawing today. It was of La la land. As he gave it to me he said “This is for you Momma, so you know where you are when you go there.” Bless the little man. It was actually titled Lay Lay Land but I chose to ignore Lay Lay – made me smile though. I often go to La la land. When I walk in the morning I don’t like to talk. I have been walking for as long as I can remember and before Archie and Rissie came along I walked on my own. So apart from a constant monologue in my head when I solve all of my problems or at least try to deal with them I prefer not to talk. So during our morning walks, I often disappear inside my head and the kids used to ask me why I was ignoring them or did not answer a question that I did not even hear. My common response was sorry Arch or Riss – I was in La la land. Then at other times when one of us is cranky or out of sorts, I will always proclaim “rainbows, unicorns, butterflies.”
That little proclamation can actually be quite annoying when out of sorts. I know that because now when I am having a bad moment, Archie or Rissie will say – “Momma – smile. Remember the rainbows, unicorns & butterflies.” When you are cranky that can make you want to smash someone. It is like our breathing and meditation exercises that we have been doing for a couple of years. Archie is prone to a little anxiety so we used to do deep breathing. Imagine my shock when I was sobbing at the sink one day (it was a really, really bad day) and Archie approached me, hugged me around the waist and said to me, “Momma, breathe in 1, 2, 3, breathe out, 4, 5 6.” As this little guy hung on to me with all his might I did not know whether to scream at him that I did not want to breathe in and out, or laugh out loud at his bravery for coming near a complete mad woman. Either way it worked as it made me stop crying and I did feel better almost immediately.
For so long it has been just the three of us. And it has been a very big few years. We moved to the country. We lived in a big old mansion. As tiny wee things they used to play and fall asleep in an old disused cold room turned into play room whilst I worked in the kitchen. We bought our dream house, a cottage in the country that was just right, with a magic faraway tree next door and a lemon tree that never stops giving. We saved Kevin from a bullet and celebrated when he became a dad to Rosie. A bloody terrifying health challenge has shaped our lives and lead us to where we are now. We are a really tight little threesome (accompanied by our dogs and chooks) and the kids seem to have grasped a really mature understanding of La la land.
As a single mum you never really get a break and the kids seem to appreciate this. They never take offense, they don’t nag, they just know if I am not there for a moment, I am off with the unicorns in La la land. So Archie’s picture moved me in many ways. It even made me cry. It seemed to say a lot. There was me with a crown on my head and I was called the Queen. Kevin and Rosie were on either side. There was a big sun and over all of us was a beautiful rainbow. Above the rainbow were two flying unicorns and surrounding them were butterflies. “Lay Lay Land”. Funnily enough Rissie has such a good understanding of La la land that it has become her own personal tool. I was calling her to put the rubbish out this afternoon and getting increasingly frustrated that I was being ignored. She waltzed through the lounge room in her swimmers and my work heels and did not seem remotely perturbed at my frustration. She smiled at me as she left the room and said, “Sorry Momma, I was in La la land.” I truly dread the teenage years.
I have been doing cakes all afternoon and it was stinking hot so I was not remotely hungry tonight. Instead of food I made my favourite juice in the world. Normally I juice to make sure I get some extra vegetables. But this juice was purely because I was craving a treat. Chuck in some ice-cubes and it is like a holiday in your mouth. I love this juice. My nickname for it is Vodka Juice. It is simply the best mixer for vodka in the world.
Apple, Pineapple & Mint Juice (Vodka Juice)
½ Small Pineapple
3 Green Apples
Handful of Mint
01 Avocado – peeled with flesh diced
Cut up and juice
Garnish with extra Mint